Today’s world brings in multiple gateways to stress.  I developed some strategies to help me manage problems, trouble and unexpected events as they continue to come up in life.  I’d like to share some of them here, in hopes that may help you or someone you know get through the hard things as they come up. 

1. Unexpected events keep coming at us
2. Staying aware and staying in prayer, staying in control
3. Reduce the overload
4. What can be controlled, what cannot be controlled and wisdom
5. Stay active, stay involved, keep going
6. Choose wisely, understand long term effects
7. Stay connected
8. Relax but also give yourself enough time
9. Alternatives for chronic ailments
10. Engage your passion
11. Find the fit and take care of yourself

1. Unexpected events keep coming at us

Good balanced living requires me to recognize that problems, trouble, obstacles, unplanned events will, at some point, arise.  Ignoring or propagating a mindset of a dreamland that is without setback, allows a minor problem turn into a major impact.   With my head in the clouds, I can’t see how I’m dressed.  I only find that out when the wind blows the clouds away and I’m standing outside with nothing on.  Where did that wind come from?  I should have brought some clothes to change into in case the wind picked up and the folks I just walked by maybe wouldn’t have laughed so hard.   I thought I’d be OK without thinking about clothes. 

Coming along with the change in event are companions’ anger, stress, anxiety and tension.  They wait for me to invite them in so they can have a place in my circle of being and wrestle with peace, serenity and clarity.   If I don’t have a battle plan, peace, serenity and clarity get their faces kicked off and get masked with discontent.  And that, discontent, is an ugly face, not meant for public appearance.  Same with me being naked out there.  I try to develop a plan for the unanticipated events.  The ones that come at us quickly, without notice.  I’m inclined to call it stress management.    It’s about how I am going to respond to the event.  Recognizing that stress and anxiety is prevalent in my life, I can establish a course of action when faced with it.  From work pressures to personal challenges, finding effective ways to manage stress is essential for our mental and physical health. Today I’d like to discuss several methods that I’ve employed that have benefitted me in reducing stressors and eliminating my need for blood pressure medications. 

2. Staying aware and staying in prayer, staying in control

Mindfulness and Prayer:  Mindfulness keeps us in the moment by not allowing distractions to take us off the current course or activity we are engaged in.  Our western urban, suburban society and constant news propagations move me from a place of serenity to a place of irritation.  My mind moves off the course of what I am currently involved with and more into the stressful situation that just crossed my path.  The bombardment of news and information surrounds me to where I’m feeling caged in.   Consider you are cut-off by the driver that just pulled in front of you.  Stay in the moment, though.  Is it clear to you that the person does not know you and it’s not a personal attack?  Before you enact your revenge, did you consider that person may have an emergency they need to attend to?  Or, maybe they are just inconsiderate, will the next action you take assure your own safety?  Stay in the present, you hit your brakes, you slowed down or stopped, you are OK.  Take several deep breathes, feel the oxygen fill your lungs and get back to your drive because you have something of greater importance to get to rather than sharing your greater piece of mind to someone that cares less about your being than the squirrel that scurried across the road to avoid their carelessness.   Stay in the moment, identify reality, remove emotions and stay serene.  Also, take time to empty your thoughts and relax.  In moments like this I practice prayer, focus and sensing my own being and environment.  I gain a sense of calm, and this is good.  At times I only need a couple minutes, but it helps me recenter and get back to serenity.  It’s a process, I don’t do this every time in a similar circumstance.  But I work to recognize the stress rise, and as new events present themselves I start to give a better response.  It ain’t about perfection, it’s about process, recognition and staying the course.

3. Reduce the overload

Reduce News Intake and Information Overload:   When I take in too much news over time, it provides pathway toward a less mindful being and a more obsessive, knowledge harvesting tool.  Not that obtaining knowledge is bad or that you should not be aware of the world around you BUT if it becomes a source of distraction, obsession or if it moves you into a state of agitation and anger, it can move you to a place of discontent.   For me it feels like being exhausted and trying to sleep under a wool blanket that is soaked, heavy in warm water.  And more water keeps flowing on it.  If it were all cold and dry, I’d work to get warm and pull the blanket around me.  While it’s warm I lay in it and steep.  Allowing my goodness to be drawn out and the abysmal self-infection to grow. 

Fortunately, as I progress on this life’s journey I work toward becoming the more mindful person that I want to be.  And, this didn’t come quickly for me.  I’d spent much, much time lamenting on the news.  In doing so, it enabled me to justify how much of a clear thinker, do-gooder, caring type and just real darn good person, I was.  Much time was spent seething on the events burying me in a cluster of emotional distress and wondering why no one else got it.   I allowed my own emotions to govern my day’s events.  So of course, I’m justified in lashing out at those around me or pushing my way into a store line.  Get outta my way ……… none of you get it.  I have no mindfulness because I let the world around me or society own it. 

Over time I was able to reflect on my own discontent and where it was coming from.  I met with counselors and read up on boundaries.  I was able to recognize I didn’t like being discontent, I sought a more serene sense. I began to stop in those moments of feeling off course to try to figure out why I was feeling that way.  I could feel the discontent rise in me like a volcano burping the small lava spikes before the eruption.  Gaining that sense, I could then trace the source of discontent, understand the cause and work to remove the negative affect.  In the case of the news, recognizing I can’t control the events or how they are presented ………. partial truths or just straight up lies ……. I work to control what I can.  Such as finger exercises to change the channel or execute the device to shut down.  Now I can reflect on my current activities such as my nice drive, folding of the clothes that smell so good fresh from the dryer, the squirrels playing in by the trees I just passed on my walk.  This is where I really begin to practice mindfulness and enjoying the moments.  I gain a sense of being enveloped into the true serenity of the moment. 

4. What can be controlled, what cannot be controlled and wisdom

Let Go of What You Cannot Control:  there are many things each day that are out of our control. The price of fuel, the rain instead of sunshine, someone else’s reactions, the flat tire you weren’t ready for.  These moments are upsetting for sure but recognizing it’s not personal and you have no control over the occurrence can reset your mind. 

Act on Items in Your Control:  In parallel with letting go of items you cannot control, take care of the items that are in your control.  There are bills piling up, what can you pay down and establish a plan to reduce the debt.  At some time, you may need to rob Peter to pay Paul, but you will have a sense that it is getting done.    Your lawn needs maintenance, the faucet continues to drip, and your car has a radiator leak.  There is a lot to deal with.  All this can be stressful, if we let it manifest and not address each item.  What I do in similar cases is establish which is most crucial to fix and which can be addressed quickly.  In this regard, you need a working vehicle but it’s easy to get after the lawn.  The car leaks but it’s not that you can’t add fluid for a while until you get the finances to fix the leak.  Get to the lawn and put that one behind you.  Now you have only the leaky faucet and radiator to deal with.  If you’re handy, get to the faucet and replace the gasket.  If you need a plumber, locate one.   The point here is the wall keeping you in stressful circumstance is large but can only be taken down one brick at a time.  Establish the sense of how you will feel once the wall is torn down.   Begin removing the bricks you are able to remove and establish a plan as to how you will remove the remaining bricks.  In doing this, the wall begins to deconstruct, you see the clear path ahead and the stressors leave you.   You gain a sense of accomplishment and direction, restoring your faith in yourself and establishing a sense of serenity. 

Wisdom:  the serenity prayer follows along as this ………. God grant me; the serenity to accept what I cannot change, to act on the things I can change and the wisdom to know the difference.  For me, this is life impacting.  Too many times I’ve tried to fix all those things around me as opposed to just accepting the circumstance.  Trying to fix things out of my control or getting upset about that which I cannot control, is nothing but futile.  I have no control over the snow that is falling today, and my long drive may be difficult.  I need to make an appointment by a specific time.  I now have a meeting that has been put into my schedule, which will cause me to be a bit late.  I can’t control the snow.  I can choose to: 1) not attend the meeting, 2) ask that it be delayed or 3) leave when I can for my next appointment.  Seeking wisdom instead of anxiety, I conclude that options 1 and 2 won’t work because of the urgency of the topic.   I choose option 3, I may be late for that appointment, so I’ll phone ahead and let it be known about the conditions and possible late arrival.  They may need to reschedule or accept my late arrival, but I don’t need to worry, and I’ve taken care of the things that I can take care of.  I also have a sense of calm, letting go of what I cannot control and acting on what I can account for. 

5. Stay active, stay involved, keep going

Exercise and Physical Activity:  Regular physical activity is known to release endorphins, the body’s natural mood enhancers. Whether it’s going for a run, practicing yoga, or engaging in team sports, exercise can significantly reduce stress and anxiety levels. Additionally, the physical benefits of staying active contribute to an overall sense of well-being.

Release of Endorphins: Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins, which can act as a natural stress and anxiety reliever.

Stress Hormone Regulation: Exercise helps regulate the body’s stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline. Regular physical activity can prevent an excess buildup of these hormones, promoting a balanced stress response.

Improved Sleep Quality: Regular exercise allows the body and mind to rest and recover, contributing to better resilience against stressors.

Increased Relaxation Response: Physical activity promotes the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the relaxation response. This counteracts the fight-or-flight response, leading to a calmer state of mind and reduced anxiety.

Enhanced Cognitive Function: Exercise has been linked to improved cognitive function and mental clarity. Regular physical activity supports better focus, memory, and problem-solving skills, which can help you cope more effectively with stressors.

Distraction and Time Away: Engaging in physical activities provides a healthy distraction from stressors. Whether it’s going for a jog, lifting weights, or practicing yoga, focusing on the activity at hand allows you to take a break from anxious thoughts and gain perspective.

Social Interaction: Participating in group sports or exercise classes fosters social interaction, which is beneficial for mental health. Social support has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety levels, providing a sense of belonging and connection.

Improved Self-Esteem: Regular physical activity is associated with enhanced self-esteem and self-confidence. Achieving fitness goals, no matter how small, contributes to a positive self-image and a greater sense of control over one’s life, reducing overall stress.

Mind-Body Connection: Many forms of physical activity, such as walking, weightlifting, physical training all emphasize the mind-body connection. These practices promote mindfulness, helping individuals stay present and focused, reducing anxiety by preventing excessive rumination on past or future stressors.

Neurotransmitter Regulation: Exercise has been found to positively influence neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, which play a crucial role in mood regulation. These chemical changes in the brain contribute to a more stable and positive emotional state, reducing the impact of stress and anxiety.

For me, I walk with my dogs or take a hike in the woods.  I also practice resistance training.  Many people practice self-defense, bicycling or running.  All these activities lead to a better physical, mental and spiritual being, whereby, cutting down on the detrimental effects of stress

6. Choose wisely, understand long term effects

Healthy Lifestyle Choices:  Along with exercise and improving sleep quality maintaining a nutritious diet and limiting the intake of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, pain medications or other pharmaceuticals help with our overall wellbeing.  For me I trade off a bad snack for a cup of coffee or water.  Some days I wind up drinking up to 5 or 6 cups of coffee.  I just prefer that over ingesting something that isn’t made for human consumption.  Part of my own lifestyle choice is to take in less bad calories.  My approach is to read the labels of what I plan to eat, to assure what I put in my body doesn’t require my digestive system to contort beyond physical capabilities and can be processed as good news when distributed to my waiting cellular receptors.  Happy receptors lead to a happy community of mind, body and spirit.  When I take in bad stuff it comes out in headaches, body aches, digestive discourse, skin disorders all leading to a distracted mind and an unhealthy physical being.  Coffee or caffeine isn’t for everyone, the key is to find out what works for you.  Pain medications and/or other pharmaceuticals can inhibit good sleep, make you drowsy when you need to be awake and some stay in your body as residual.  In such cases, it can cause inflammations, good cell destruction, lack of clarity, stomach disorders all leading to increased stressors.  Taking an occasional pain medication or anti-inflammatory won’t hinder your overall being.  It’s the continual usage that will lead to detriment.  When your body responds adversely, your mind responds negatively as well, yielding to the imbalance of mind, body and spirit.            

7. Stay connected

Social Support:  Talk to friends, family, or a mental health professional to provide emotional support and different perspectives on challenging situations.  In this case don’t surround yourself with mere social agreeables.  Feelgooders don’t have your best interest in hand, they have their own.  You should seek someone you trust and will challenge your interpretation of thought and reaction.  Sharing concerns and receiving feedback can help you feel understood and less isolated.  Locate a good counselor or coach to discuss your environment, your reactions, your solutions and get an outside perspective on your wellbeing.  It helps in generating a sense of clarity, an avenue to being understood and also guides you away from negative thoughts and stress.  It also provides the ability for changing your course, under trusted advisement, to improve your internal perspectives and outward reactions, whereby balancing your mind, body and spirit environment. 

8. Relax and give yourself enough time to avoid the rush

Time Management:  Often, stress arises from feeling overwhelmed by a multitude of tasks.  If you are prone to being late or feeling rushed, this may be something you can manage on your own.  Consider that a little extra wait time prior to the appointment or event is much better than feeling the urgency to get there because you left too late.  Along with that, effective time management can help prioritize and organize responsibilities. Breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps can make the workload seem less daunting and reduce anxiety.  Again, set the priorities and just start the most urgent or easiest task.  Once you begin, the momentum will shift from anxiety to accomplishment to eventual serenity.

9. Alternatives for chronic ailments

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):  For those dealing with chronic stress or anxiety, cognitive-behavioral therapy is a proven therapeutic approach.  Are you in constant anxious mode? Do you have social or environmental triggers that continue to prevail in life?  Do you respond adversely to simple situations?  Do your feelings govern your decisions which lead to less than desirable outcomes?   CBT helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to stress. Learning coping strategies and problem-solving skills can empower you to manage stress more effectively.  This is an effective method of transformation for those with histrionic disorders, such as childhood trauma, relational trauma and/or PTSD.  Here, it is good to get with a professionally trained counselor to lead in redirecting the mindset and help with alleviating the stresses.  

10. Engage your passion

Hobbies and Leisure Activities:  Engaging in activities that bring peace, and relaxation can be an effective stress-relief strategy. Whether it’s reading, gardening, painting, or playing a musical instrument, dedicating time to enjoyable hobbies provides a mental break and fosters a sense of accomplishment.  If you enjoy reading, kick back and relax. Or, take on something that you desire and feel passionate about but have been putting it off for fear of failure.  Look at it like ….. that person can do it, so can I.  You will feel a great level of accomplishment.  Accomplishment brings about a sense of peace and wellbeing.  More positive endorphin and neurotransmitter release.  Remember, also, that as you learn something new you will experience setbacks or small failures.  This is part of the learning process; you learn the best from setbacks and losses.  In the teams I’ve coached, when we experienced losses, I always went over what we learned and what we could do to improve.  I also ask for highlights on what felt good, what went well and what changes can be put in place to improve the outcome for next time.  Focusing on the positive aspects of the losing experience.   Stay with the process, especially if it is something you desire to do.    Determination helps build your character, sense of self, your wellbeing and in turn reduces anxieties.  Eric Clapton put his guitar down for a period because he felt he wasn’t getting it.  I didn’t pick up my guitar until later in life.   Consider this, if they can do it, so can you and it’s never too late to just start

11. Find the fit and take care of yourself

In conclusion, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for managing stress and anxiety. The key is to explore different methods and identify what works best for you.  I actually employ an exercise regimen, a daily routine of prayer, I play guitar/sing and make sure I connect in some way socially every day.    Combining several approaches, such as mindfulness, exercise, and social support, helps me create a strategy for reducing stress and promoting a healthy mental well-being.  Remember, seeking professional help when needed is also a sign of strength.  Here, you are taking on responsibility to self-reflect and confirm you are right with the world and with the lives you impact.  Humility through self-reflection is virtuous and you honor yourself.  You also show those around you that you care for them, as well.  Professional resources are available, shop around to find one you trust. 

In summary, life keeps coming at us.  Both in good form and bad form, nothing stays as is for long.  When the hard tides come in, rather than drowning in the flood, here’s just a few thoughts that may help keep the rise of flooding stress from becoming overwhelming:

1. Stay aware that things change. Today may be great, tomorrow may not be, just keep a mindset that things change and all will be as it should be
2. Stay in the moment, stay prayerful. Ask God for peace, divine intervention, acceptance, direction
3. Limit the intake of news, media, texts, email
4. Identify what you can control, what you cannot control. Change what you can, accept what you cannot change
5. Stay active, exercise. Get into a lifestyle routing to keep yourself active in some way, every day
6. Limit the intake of pharmaceuticals and processed anything.
7. Stay connected socially, with friends, with family, don’t isolate
8. Give yourself enough time to get to where you need to be, take the rush out of life
9. Consider alternatives for chronic stress and anxieties, such as CBT
10. Find a hobby or leisure activity that drives your passion and pursue it
11. Find what fits for you and enlist it. Start with short intervals and just stay the course in anything you take on.  Stay committed

 Stay balanced in mind, body and spirit